Ask the HourMarker
Using horary astrology to solve your everyday problems
Will F and I be dating by the end of the summer? I met F about a year ago through my partner at the time. I developed a crush pretty quickly after meeting them, but decided to keep it to myself. The more I got to know them the stronger the crush became and the more charming I found their personality. We have lots of similar niche interests and see each other around town frequently. We've attempted to intentionally hang out a few times over this past year but it's seemed like the timing was always off for whatever reason. They're really busy and can be hard to reach. I've felt at times like F has kept me at arms length but I've never known quite why. Over the past month or so we've had some interactions that have gotten increasingly friendly (and flirty) leading up to us finally making plans to really hang out. I can tell we're getting along well and that our relationship is finally advancing a few steps. Though there's still a lot up in the air, I'm curious about if we will actually start dating or if this is just wishful thinking at this point. My queer heart is yearning to know!
(chart was cast for the moment the question was read and understood, on June 16th 2022 at 10:27pm in Portland, OR)
Thank you for writing in, this is a juicy one! Before we dive into the question, I want to explore the recent past a little bit. In horary questions, I tend to look at which planets the significators (planets representing the relevant parties) are separating form, to get a sense of what just happened in the past that is informing this question. In this chart, Saturn (ruling the ascendant and representing you) has just stationed retrograde. Saturn always stations retrograde right around its annual trine with the Sun, and sure enough in this chart the Sun has just passed its trine with Saturn, and now Saturn and the Sun are literally going their separate ways, moving in different directions through the zodiac. You mentioned that you met this person about a year ago via your partner at the time… from context clues I gather you broke up with your partner somewhat recently. The trine aspect is a friendly one, it suggests the parting was amicable, but still! Breakups are never easy, even if they do end on good terms. And if Saturn’s last aspect was that trine, then that suggests this breakup is definitely informing things here. Which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily! I’m all for a rebound, for getting back out there after a broken heart. But I think this is important context– dating post breakup is a little different than if you’d been single for a while.
Ok, so, onto the actual question. Since Capricorn is rising in this chart, the 7th house representing the other party is ruled by the moon. And interestingly, in all horaries you look at the moon to see the outcome of the question, what actually ends up happening. So if the moon signifies F as well as the outcome of the situation in general, that tells me the ball is basically in their court— If they don’t make a move, it’s not happening. I think there's some interest there, but unfortunately it doesn’t look all that likely that you two will get together. Although the Moon and Saturn are copresent and vibing in the same sign, they are more than 20 degrees apart, and for sparks to fly you’d rather see them on top of each other. And looking at the aspects the Moon makes, before she gets to Saturn she talks with Jupiter, tussles with Mars, and tangoes with Venus.
This feels like the dynamic you have with F, someone who’s in your sphere but not someone you’ve spent a lot of time with. And although it seems like you guys are moving towards each other, unfortunately it doesn’t seem like you are that much of a priority to them right now. There’s maybe a fuckboy vibe going on with them? The fact that Venus is ruling and placed in the 5th house of sex and pleasure, is so close to Rahu the north node, and heading towards a square with Saturn all don’t bode well for a stable relationship. The north node can represent insatiable appetites, increase without restraint or thoughts for whether or not more is better, and with Venus in its jaws there's a hunger there, a hunger that conflicts with the stability that Saturn (representing you) craves. You guys could potentially fuck— Saturn and Venus in their own signs and squaring each other is a powerful aspect— but it might not turn out that well.
And finally, there's a big red flag in this chart: Mars in the 4th house, almost exactly squaring the ascendant. The 4th house in horaries can represent the outcome of the question, and although it's not something I always find relevant, with all the other things going on mars in the 4th house is a recipe for trouble. To me, this suggest that a romantic relationship or sexual relationship with this person will likely end in conflict.
Speaking from… a lot of experience, it really sucks when it seems like somebody isn’t giving you the attention and priority that you are wanting! It sucks when you are feeling lonely, and while longing makes for great Mitski songs, its not a great vibe to live in. The more someone plays you hot and cold, the lonelier you tend to get, lonelier even than if you just stay by yourself. There’s something about Saturn representing you in this chart– Saturn gives the gift of integrity, of the ability to say no to something that isn’t ideal. And that isn’t to say don't get out there and fuck around, or don’t date anyone! Go get some if the spirit moves you, but do it with people who are actually worth your time. You are young, hot, gay and have a lot of love to give, too much to be wasting on situations that aren’t worth it.
– Rowan Aubrey Sloane
this advice format is so fabulous, thank you for sharing yer knowledge and expertise. awaiting the next issue....